Tuesday, September 15, 2009

VMA's Gone Wild

Ambrosia

Apparantly crack was the hors d' oeuvre of choice at this year's MTV Video Music Awards as peculiar antics kept on coming throughout the evening. The first peculiar and outright no no was the appearance of Shakira and Pink in the same dress. What made matters worst is that they both stepped on the red carpet within mere minutes of one another. Some stylist is now stapled to someones back wall.

Next, the Kanye West fiasco with his victim of the night, Taylor Swift. On the pre-show, the 19 year old country music singer could be seen completely humbled and honored just to be nominated for a VMA. She repeatedly said, "I'm a country music singer. I'm honored to be here at the VMA's". When asked if she thinks she would win a moon man competing against the likes of Beyonce and Pink, she said, "Oh no. I'm just happy to be here." So we all know Taylor Swift won the moon man for best female video. Then enter Kanye West aka 'D'Artagnan', who felt inclined to swoop onto the stage during Taylor Swift's acceptance speech, and come to the aid of damsel Beyonce who was nominated but did not win that particular award. Please remember, this cinematic adventure is all in the mind of Kanye West among the dusty cobwebs but I digress. So after grabbing the microphone/sword from 19 year old Taylor Swift, he proclaims in part from the top of the stage, after slaying the dragon, "Beyonce should have won this award!" Then he jumps off the stage in victory for the 2 people who were thinking the same thing.

The mortified Beyonce who was unsuspectedly dragged into Kanye's lair, came out at the end of the show when she received the biggest award of the night and diplomatically called Taylor Swift out to continue her acceptance speech. Although this was honorable, her speech will be forever smeared by a little man with a big ego who needed to be seen on stage since he was nominated for nothing that night.

Next, the ever dramatic and theatrical Lady Gaga pulled no stops to make a point of the psychotic plight of the "Paparazzi". Mad piano playing, plenty of blood and an on stage hanging all added to the family atmosphere that the VMA's are so known for. Don't get me wrong. I loved the performance and the message behind it, but I thought it was a bit too gory. But it made it's point. The Paparazzi will stop at nothing to invade the lives of celebrities-not even Death can stop them as can be seen with the recent passing of Michael Jackson. After her performance, the birdlike Lady Gaga sits for the rest of the evening enjoying the show with a Robin's nest sitting atop her face. Lovely!

Speaking of Michael Jackson, I enjoyed the dancers getting his moves on point as they donned his many signature outfits from his vast career. When Janet came out, she was phenomenal dancing in unison with the digital Michael on the back screen. In my opinion, I really don't want to see any other Jackson's doing a tribute to Michael Jackson besides Janet. And who invited slimy opportunists Joe Jackson and Ken doll head Jermaine to the show? Have they come out with any albums recently? Oh yes, Joe Jackson has and sure enough to follow suit, Jermaine. Sadly, they will continue to ride the Michael Jackson wave to the end. Classy.

At the end of Jay-Z's greatly anticipated performance with Alicia Keyes, one-hit rapper, Lil' Mama jumped up on stage and sported the "B-Boy" stance with the the two musical icons. You can notice Jay-Z staring at her under his dark shades probably wondering, WTF! Lil' Mama later apologized.

Anyway, the last piece that let me see that 2009's VMA's was definately dining on a crack smorgosborg was the appearance of Jack Black who ended the evening proclaiming, "Let us all worship Satan!" Everyone then put up the classic rocker two finger sign (which as I have researched is really the symbol of Satan, reminiscent of the "horns") and they bowed in reverance.

Blood and Guts, Opportunists galore and devil worship all culminated to make 2009's VMA's the wonderful little family show that it has proven to be time and time again. Until next year :-).